


evan hansen does NOT like pornhub

by smolbagu, tolbaguette



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Connor loves cats, Fluff, Gay, Implied Smut, M/M, connor is a needy h0, emoji movie - Freeform, sincerely three, valentines day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 01:46:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13694307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolbagu/pseuds/smolbagu, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tolbaguette/pseuds/tolbaguette
Summary: Evan wants to prepare the best Valentine's Day for his boyfs.-Valentine's Day Oneshot-





	evan hansen does NOT like pornhub

Just one more and- done! Evan had finally finished decorating their small apartment. Evan didn’t have any classes today so he decided that this year, he would make Valentine’s Day perfect for his boyfriends. He walked into the kitchen, dinner was practically ready. Evan had attempted at making chicken alfredo because who doesn’t like creamy pasta? He had baked tiny heart shaped sugar cookies as well.

He scanned the area. Everything was ready. Everything had to be perfect for his boys. He glanced at his phone, Jared would be home soon from his afternoon classes and Connor should be there about thirty minutes after Jared. All that was left to do was wait.

  
Jared has just gotten out of class. He had a huge test today, and Jared was pretty sure that he had flunked it. He studied for weeks before the test but when he took it, none of the information stuck. Jared went in, assuming that he would be less stressed afterward, but nope. If even possible, he was more stressed.

Jared slid into his car and leaned his head back, sighing. Today was Valentine’s Day and he hadn’t prepared much for his boyfs. He knew there was a flower shop on the way home, the one that Ev worked at, so he decided he’d stop there and maybe get some flowers.

  
Connor was having the worst day of his life and that’s really saying something. He slept through his alarm, their cat, Shrek, ate up his shoelaces, he got coffee spilled all over him at work, he ran into his ex, and he had a big test in psychology. Yeah, so today definitely sucked. He was surprised that he hadn’t broken yet and lashed out.

Oh, Right, it was Valentine’s Day. He had been completely distracted and stressed by everything that he had completely forgotten to get his boyfriend’s presents. What a boyfriend he was. After ending his shift, he headed over to the store to find something to give his boys.

\--

After about fifteen minutes, Evan perked up when he heard the front door open, standing up and rushing to greet one of his boyfriends. Once he saw Jared, he ran up to him and pulled him into a kiss.

Jared made a small surprised noise, but nonetheless melted into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Evan and deepened the kiss, slowly feeling his stress dissolve. Jared hummed lightly before pulling away, pressing his head against Evan’s, “I love you so much.”

Evan smiled softly, “I love you too.” Evan knew how stressed Jared was and he just wanted to make him happy. He softly kissed Jared’s cheek before pulling away, “Dinner is about ready and Con should be home any minute now.” Jared smiled at Evan, before looking around the apartment, oh my god. Evan didn’t have to do all of this. He walked further into their home to put the flowers in some water and oH MY GOD EVAN MADE COOKIES. Okay, before Jared knew it, he had eaten seven cookies.

Jared instantly followed Evan, who was literally running to the front door, when they heard a muffled, “im home.” Jared snorted when he saw Connor in the doorway holding two freaking huge teddy bears. He watched as Evan pulled them out of Connor’s arms before pulling him into a kiss in which Connor immediately returned.

They stood there kissing for a while, before Jared cleared his throat. Evan pulled away from the kiss whispering, “Happy Valentines Day.” to Connor before completely pulling away. Connor smiled softly at Evan before looking at Jared and holding his arms out, “Hey, Jare.”

Jared smiled and walked over to Connor, letting his wrap his arms around his waist. “Hey, asshat.” he said lovingly, pulling Connor into a kiss. Connor gently kissed back before pulling away, “Where’s shrek?”

Jared laughed, “Um, I’m actually not sure. I think I saw her in the kitchen?” He kissed Connor’s cheek before letting him go search for the cat. Connor instantly started looking around because he loves that damn cat and he needs to pet it. After finding her, he picked her up and instantly started to stroke her hairless skin.

Evan quickly finished setting the table and called the other boys to the table. “S-sorry if it’s bad- i tried but-” he shrugged, “y-ya know..” He didn’t know why he was suddenly so nervous. Connor gently grabbed Evan’s hand and held, “babe, everything looks great..” he paused, “and so does the food.” he finished with a small smirk.

Jared looked up with a mouthful of food, “Ev,” he swallowed before continuing, “this is the best fucking thing i’ve tasted and i will fight you on this.” Evan blushed and looked down, “t-thanks.” he replied before twirling some pasta on his fork and taking a bite. Wow- It actually wasn’t that bad.

Once they finished eating, Evan got up and took their plates, taking them to the kitchen to start cleaning up. As turned on the sink, Connor stood up, “Here babe, let me do ‘em.” Evan looked over at Connor, “Oh- no, Con. G-go visit with Jare or something. You’ve had a rough day, I got this.”

Connor shook his head and gently started pulling Evan out of the kitchen, “You did all of this for us, let me do something for you.” Evan bit his lip, looking up at Connor, “con..” Connor smiled softly and kissed Evan’s forehead, “Please, sweetie?”

Evan sighed and leaned into Connor, “Okay.. but only until I pick a movie.” Connor chuckled, “Guess I’ll just have to keep you here so you can’t.” he joked. Evan grinned and lifted his head up to kiss Connor’s jaw before slipping away to the living room and plopping down on the couch.

Jared followed Evan to the living room and sat next to him. “So, what movie choices do we have?” Evan leaned against Jared, “hmm,, i dunno.” he admitted. He sucked at making decisions. “We can watch a sappy rom-com? Or maybe a disney movie?” Evan was personally in favor of a Disney movie. “What do you think?”

“You can never go wrong with a disney movie.”

“I vote fifty shades of grey!” Connor called out from the kitchen. Evan instantly blushed, “no!” he called back. They were not watching that… again. “H-how about something like.. Moana? Or the lion king? Or tangled?” he suggested.

“Fifty shades darker?” Connor suggested.

“Guys, shrek.”

Evan shook his head at his boyfriends’ stupid suggestions. “No.” he groaned, leaning back on the couch. “Okay, why don’t we just go straight to Pornhub?” Connor called out.

“I vote Pornhub.” Jared added.

“Oh my- s-stop! No.” Evan blushed. He did not plan for them to watch such things. Plus that kind of stuff made him uncomfortable, like why would you watch people having sex on the internet? It didn’t make sense to Evan, especially since he had two beautiful boyfriends.

“Pornhub! Pornhub! Pornhub!” Connor chanted.

“cONNORYOUDON’TGETSAYINTHIS!”

“OkAy, gAys!” Jared cut them both off, “what if we just watch the emoji movie and then afterwards, we can watch something on Pornhub, so everyone will be happy.” Evan huffed, “okay.” Jared smiled and set the Emoji Movie up, which was now on Netflix. ;)

“Hey, Con, c’mere and join the cuddle party that’s about to start.” Jared called out. “Gimme a sec,” Connor replied as he finished up the dishes. When he was done, he walked back to the living room, “oh, i forgot to give you guys your gifts.” Connor walked back to the entrance, grabbing two bags full of candy, a sappy card in each one. He didn’t bother picking up the stuffed bears, they already saw them.

Evan read his card and almost teared up, pulling Connor into a hug and kissing all over his face, “i l-love it!” Connor grinned and returned the hug. When Evan pulled away, Connor turned his attention to his other boyfriend. “Do you like it?”

Jared looked up at Connor with a wide grin, “Um, of course I do! Anything from either of my boyfs is amazing! I love it!”

Connor snorted, “you’re so gay.

“So are you.”

Evan shook his head and giggled before pulling up a small gift bag. “T-there’s two boxes in here.” He set the bag down so they could take their presents. He got them matching necklaces that had leather cords as the chain and a small locket with a picture with the three of them. Evan waited for a response from the boys.

Evan watched as Connor held the necklace in his hand and noticed him start sniffling, “i-is something wrong? D-do you not like it? If you don’t like it we can get you something else-” Connor shook his head and pulled Evan into a hug, “it’s so beautiful” he cried, hugging Evan tight. “I love you.”

Evan wrapped his arms around Connor, “i love you too.” Jared stared down blankly at the necklace before wrapping his arms around con and ev, “i fuckin’ love you guys so fuckin’ much, thank you” Evan smiled and turned his head so he could plant a kiss to Jared’s cheek, “I love you too, Jare.”

Connor kissed Evan’s cheek and then Jared's, “I love you gays so much.” He genuinely smiled at his boyfs, “now let's watch this stupid movie.”

After a few minutes of adjusting, they finally got into a comfortable position and started watching the fucking Emoji Movie.

When it was over, Evan yawned, running his fingers through Jared's hair. Connor shifted under him, “pornhub time.”

Evan whined and squirmed around, which was definitely uncomfortable for Jared probably. “con- no. I object to this.” Connor chuckled and wrapped his arms around Evan’s waist so he couldn't go anywhere, “I watched your cheesy kid movie, now you will watch my adult movie.” He mused.

“I didn't even pick it though! Jare did!” Evan whined more, “why don't we watch Mulan? Or the princess and the frog?”

“Dudes, I have something better than Pornhub.” Jared interrupted them. He thought that it was about time to bring out his gift. “What's better than watching two people you don't know fuck?” Connor asked.

“Literally everything else!” Evan squeaked back.

“Watching two people you know fuck? And being a part of it?” Jared suggested, pulling out of Evan's arms and standing up.

“Can we watch porn while we do it?” Jared snorted at Connor's persistence and walked off to their bedroom. Evan groaned, “No, Connor.”

Jared came back a minute later with a box full of high-tech sex toys. He's had it for a while but he decided to wait for the right time to use them. He set the box on the coffee table, “Enjoy.”

“Oh my god- jare-” Evan's face flushed.

Connor looked down at the box, “Oh, wow.” He looked back up at Jared, “Well? Get your ass over here.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love my boys too much


End file.
